Paternity, Fraternity, Equality - Chapter 2Perry had the report finished and oven fried chicken with a giant bowl of tossed salad ready when the boys and Matt returned. He was distracted through the entire meal. Tim and Tom didn't notice. It was impossible not to be distracted by Matt sitting right there still bare chested. Images of the rest of him that was hidden under the table kept creeping into Perry's mind. There were no trunks in those images. Just Matt. Or what Perry imagined was Matt, legs spread, a blood pumped organ with it's glans pressed against the underside of the table.
Matt offered to help clean up, do the dishes. Perry told him he'd done enough for one day, thanked him again for taking the twins. He couldn't, or wouldn't, get up to walk Matt to the door when he left. The boys were in their room, sounds of sibling rivalry and blasting rap shaking the kitchen ceiling. Perry yelled at them from the hall to settle down and lower the volume. Then he returned again to the bathroom. This time he just let his pants and boxers fall around his ankles, sat on the commode and did it. He masturbated slowly, sensually bringing himself to a climax while day dreaming of Matt.
That night he found himself wrapped in Matt's arms and then the dream went a new direction. He knew it was done, even had experienced it once with Jan, but this time he did it. He wanted to give back to Matt the erotic pleasure he had received just from watching Matt's body. Perry held Matt's stiff cock in his hand, stroking and then moved. He hovered over that body, his face nearly in Matt's crotch. His eyes were full of lust as he first kissed the tip and then, tentatively, stuck out his tongue. With a lunge he crammed the head and then the entire shaft into his mouth.
Perry awoke shaking, it had been too real. It wasn't him. It wasn't Matt. Guys don't -- well not unless you were queer -- do things like that. He questioned why was this happening to him. Perry refused to let himself fall back to sleep. He tossed on the bed, sweating, feeling the sheet as it tickled across his turgid prick. Perry threw himself over on his stomach. His hips pressed his cock against the mattress. He tried to hold still. He fought with himself and lost. Hunching and muttering 'no' over and over he felt the pressure build. When it was over he stripped the bed, threw on a pair of sweat pants and washed the sheets.
It hadn't been an empty bed, a hard mattress that he'd imagined under him as the fever took over or when he ejaculated. It had been Matt. Standing in the laundry room, the blush of sunrise lighting the window, he argued with himself and tried to decide just what he was going to do. He knew one thing. He had to end the friendship with Matt. It didn't matter why he was having these dreams, these feelings. What mattered was it had to stop. He had two boys to raise, a wife to take care of, a job that he enjoyed. Matt created problems. Problems Perry found it impossible to deal with. He even admitted, only to himself in a half recognition of truth, that Matt wasn't really the source of the problems. The problems were his. But he didn't know how to deal with them except to distance himself from Matt. Maybe then the dreams, the urges, the need would stop.
It didn't work. Perry couldn't make himself break it off and instead just made excuses to try to keep Matt at a distance. Matt just didn't take the hints. Perry would invent a reason why Matt shouldn't stop. Matt would agree, drive on and then show up later with a pizza or Chinese take out for dinner, treats the twins greeted with such enthusiasm that Perry couldn't refuse to accept. Perry got his hours changed because of the boys' school hours so the car pooling had to stop. The company did promote car pooling and had limited parking. Matt talked to their boss and a week later was on the same schedule.
In late November Tim and Tom were gone Friday to the local High School football game and Matt dropped by with his shy grin and an offer of dinner out. Perry wanted to go and also wanted to turn down the invitation. He hesitated. Matt just stood there.
"Well, yes or no, buddy? Hey, what's the problem Pear? Jees. You're acting like a virgin school girl who's afraid if she accepts a date for dinner she'll have to put out before the night is over."
Since what had been pushing its way through Perry's mind was close to that scenario he felt an involuntary shudder.
"Just don't think I should be gone when the boys get home. They're at that teen age rebellion stage where who knows what might happen. Not that I don't trust them -- sorta." Perry give a weak grin and then hung his head not able to continue looking Matt in the eye.
"That's not it and you know it." Matt's voice was a low whisper Perry barely heard.
Perry's head snapped up. Matt was standing there slowly unbuttoning his shirt. The shy grin had changed into a look Perry had never seen before, not on a man's face anyway. It was a cross between a teasing, taunting look and lust. The kind of look Jan use to give him to get him out of the den and up to the bedroom.
"What . . . what are you . . . Matt, what the hell are you doing?" Perry was choking, sputtering and, watching Matt continue to strip off his shirt, feeling himself becoming instantly aroused.
"Giving you want you've been wanting. Am I wrong, buddy?" His eyes sparkled and grew darker holding Perry's gaze like a bird mesmerized by a slow moving snake, ready to strike. "You going to keep playing games? You want this. You want me. I want you. Have wanted you . . . damn, Perry, I fell in love with you the day we met."
Perry staggered, stepped back, crashed against the wall, his eyes clinched, trembling.
"Look at me, damn it. Look at me!"
He took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Matt had stripped his undershirt off. It, his tie and his long sleeve oxford lay in a heap on the floor. He held out his hand.
"But . . . you . . . I . . ."
"I know. Perry, I'm gay. Always have been. Always will be."
"NO!"
"Yes, buddy. Gay and so hung up on you it hurts. Wouldn't have . . . but, come on, Perry . . . I'm not blind. Don't know if you're gay, or bi or what. Don't care. You've been getting boners every time I'm around. Don't tell me you haven't. Like the lady said 'is that a pistol or are you just glad to see me?' You've got one right now." He moved closer. His hand came to rest on Perry's arm and then moved lightly, stroking, soothing.
"Even been dreaming about you . . . damn you." Perry had stopped trembling. Reaching out he put his hands on Matt's shoulders causing Matt's hand to fall. It rested just touching on the fullness of Perry's slacks. With that Perry shuddered again and let out a sigh.
"Dreaming? You devil." Matt's hand cupped and closed on Perry as he stepped in bringing them within inches, eyes locked, noses almost touching.
Perry's hands moved to encircle Matt, capturing his arms. "Just dreams. Never . . . shit, Matt . . . all I ever did was jack off with a buddy in High School. This is . . . impossible. Mmmmm . . . " His hands were moving, stroking Matt's shoulder blades, tingling with the feel of bare flesh. ". . . you feel so good. That feels so good." His hips thrust his pelvis forward as Matt's hand squeezed then squeezed again.
Matt pulled back breaking their contact. He grasp the waist of his jeans. "Do I strip down here and we get it on on the living room floor or are you going to take me to your bedroom?"
Perry gave a weak grin. "Hey, ass hole, you're the expert here. You tell me. Damn. You're gay. You. Impossible."
"You said that already. And it's not. Anything is possible." Matt took Perry's hand. "Lead the way. Or I refuse to accept responsibility for the consequences."
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